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(via ghostinq)
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when i was in elementary school this fucking bitch claimed that she was queen of the jungle gym and would never let anyone use it so i told her i was telling the teacher and i walked over to the teacher and pointed near her and said “isn’t the sky so pretty today” and she started crying because she thought i told and long story short i was the king of the mother fucking jungle gym
(via imabbbbbbbbbby)
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i’ve discovered why people like collarbones so much…
theyre perfect for chips and dip.
(via imabbbbbbbbbby)
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(via imabbbbbbbbbby)
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(via imabbbbbbbbbby)
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(via imabbbbbbbbbby)
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- me: time for bed
- stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
- brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
- muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
- skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
- ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
- eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
- mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
- body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
- me: ok
